Love Month

This weekend we had beautiful weather and while Jack was washing the car and Elliot playing in the garage, I decided to clean out some of the remaining boxes from our move, three years ago. Better late than never right?

I was going through this one box where I had things that were from when I lived at home with my parents and found so many memories. I have kept every single card, note and letter that Jack has ever given me in the almost nine years we have been together which is a lot of stuff, and it brought back so many amazing memories. The first Valentine's card, first birthday card, love letters where he expressed his feelings in ways that made my heart skip a beat. He wrote "I can't wait to marry you!" a lot and "I love you more than I can say!" I've always loved his handwriting too!





We used to write love letters to each other back then saying how much we loved each other, before we got married and how we couldn't wait to be married and start that part of our lives. We also had the letters that mentioned we had had a fight, but how that didn't make him feel any different about us. I felt all of the feelings when reading them and I saved some so that Jack and I could open them together again and read what he wrote years ago. We laughed about what he wrote with a knot in our throats remembering those times saying "remember this? I remember that time!"

Going through that box was a great reminder that now all those years later, we still feel the same if not more in love with each other as we have gone through marriage, parenthood, the stresses of life, of owning a house, having bills to pay, and car payments, and the many things that make marriage so hard and so wonderful at the same time. Sometimes we are going through the days on what seems like fast forward x8 and that is okay because it is part of life, but reading the letters and cards also made me realize that we need to slow down.

They reminded us that no matter what, we have each other's backs just like we did when we met and fell in love. We may not write each other those long love letters as we used to, but we talk to each other and tell each other how we feel. While it's certainly not butterflies and rainbows all of the time, at the end of the day we feel how we felt in those love letters and notes and cards. We are happy and we are pushing through life together, plus there are still love notes that we leave each other in our lunch bags or around the house and those make our marriage and life a lot sweeter.

Enjoy your loved ones everyday, tell them and show them how much you love them this month and everyday! ;)

Marriage: What I've Learned Thus Far

I know, who am I to be talking about marriage, I've only been married almost five years but I truly believe in quality vs. quantity. This is not a post about advice, it's a post about what I've learned through our five years of marriage, the things Jack and I have changed and compromised on to make our marriage better and hell, the things we have been through to get to where we are.

These past few days I have witnessed a few couples arguing while driving. One of them I had no idea what they were saying, it was the car behind us and Jack told me about it. I glanced through the rear view mirror and sure enough, I could see the lady talking and flailing her arms in the air. Another one was at work, I was outside of my office and a mini van drove by with a couple, windows down. I just heard her yelling at her husband. Roll the window up at least lady!

This one is a little long so brace yourself!

When you have a baby and your life is turned upside down because your schedule is now nonexistent and everything you were used to is gone, the most important person you have to turn to is your husband or partner. He has to be your rock, your balance, your everything to find some sort of normal after a baby. Then, you fight about who has to wake up in the middle of the night, who is more tired, who loves him more (kidding), who will change the poopy diaper (in our case, you play paper, rock, scissors), etc.

Sleep deprivation & exhaustion are two of the words that become part of your everyday vocabulary and you get so used to them that you don't even think about the days when eight straight hours of sleep were the norm. Kids are the greatest blessing on this earth but the first few months/years are tough! I'm sure you all agree. Unless you have a baby that sleeps and behaves great (lucky!) then you can relate to this.

Then of course there's the playtime, the outings with your child, the times they're little clowns and make you laugh, cry because they reached a milestone and you can't beat the cuddles. The world is okay again and you and your husband are on the same page again.

Toddlerhood came along and it's been a whole new ball game for our marriage. This is where we have learned to compromise the most. Sometimes we would take sides! We learned not to do that. Jack and I have to be in agreement before we make a decision that we think is best for Elliot. He's throwing a tantrum because he wants a cookie, I desperately want to give to him so that he stops, Jack tells me we can't do that otherwise we are letting him get away with it and he hasn't had dinner, he's right, I refuse the cookie and even though it takes Elliot a thousand hours to stop asking for the damn cookie, eventually he stops and I give him grapes instead. A healthier option and Jack and I were on the same page. This goes for anything. Of course we fail at this miserably sometimes but everything is a work in progress.

There are a few things that, in my almost five years of marriage, I have learned never to do to my husband. Respect to me is the number one priority even when your almost two and a half year old is throwing a tantrum the size of Texas, which are fewer and fewer now thank God. I've witnessed some pretty embarrassing moments about other couples when they argue in front of people and I can tell you it creates such an awkward environment for everyone and I've always told Jack that I will never do that to him. No matter how upset I am with him. Even before Elliot came along.

A couple of things I've learned in my relationship with Jack:

1- Never argue in front of people or family. It's NEVER a good situation, for anyone. If it's something that needs to be addressed immediately, take your hubby to the side or tell them you need to discuss it later. Nobody wants to see or hear how much you dislike him at that moment, what you think of him in terms of expletives, what he's doing wrong, etc. You get the idea. I've been witness to this and it's so awkward, you don't know what to say or what to do. It's not the same after that and the image you create for yourself is not cool. You don't look cool for bad mouthing your husband to me or him directly in front of others. I never do it. Nothing good comes out of it. Remember respect! (Social media included!)

2- Never, ever, ever, ever embarrass him in public or in private for that matter. This sort of goes along with number #1. There's times when I've been talking to someone and they tell me (while their husband is standing there) how ridiculous they are about something, or how what they did was wrong, or laugh at them when they make a mistake. Horrible, never do this.

3- Never send out your husband in an outfit you wouldn't pick out for him. This is kind of funny but not really. I've seen so many cases of this. There was a guy at work that always showed up with a really wrinkled work shirt and all that made me think was, I wonder where the hell his wife is? How could she let him walk out like that? I get off my ass and iron for Jack, or he irons for himself, but he never walks out with a wrinkled shirt. Also, if he's buying the wrong clothes, do something about it. Lead him in the right direction or just pick out his clothes for him. Jack lets me pick out his clothes and I buy him things that I know are his style and I know he would wear. Just because he loves Goofy, I'm not going to go out and buy him thirty Goofy shirts. Know what I mean? I've always believed that the way our husbands dress/look are a direct reflection of us as wives.

4- Tell each other that you love each other every single day, show it and mean it.

Jack and I used to argue about the most ridiculous freaking things ever. Even before we got married. We are two very strong minded and stubborn people, I'm right, no I'm right! Rinse, repeat. The argument ended in him or I leaving, since we could do that, we were dating and lived in separate houses. We threatened to end the relationship too which wasn't good. One time we broke up for a good four days and they were gruesome! Ha! When you're married things change drastically. Just because you can, doesn't mean you leave or threaten to leave. We learned this too. We have a commitment to each other and shit some days both of us want to throw in the towel but we have learned that just by going to another room to cool off then coming back to talk about it works for us. Because aren't most arguments pretty petty anyways? But hey, if it's not meant to work, it won't work, I get it.

The biggest lesson learned has been to let it go. If it is something we have disagreed on the eight years we have been together, it's never going to go anywhere. We drop it immediately and leave it be. We don't argue about things we know are not worth it. We just don't. If we do, we learn to agree to disagree, and trust me, we disagree on many things. But we live with it. And we are okay with it.

Like I said, I'm not the marriage guru, I'm not a marriage adviser either. I may get the eye roll, the judgment or the "who does she think she is?" but I've learned so much in these five years of marriage and I wanted to share that. By no means am I saying that my marriage is perfect. I make mistakes all the time. If it were, we wouldn't be of this world, but I am committed to my relationship with my husband and I'm committed to being the best wife I can be for him!

Both of us agree that we have learned so much from this and it's made us better people not just with each other but with others as well, we have grown so much. It's also made us better parents, because if you have a strong and healthy marriage, kids see that! The part about our marriage I love the most is that I can completely be myself around him (as embarrassing as I am sometimes). I joke, I dance ridiculously around him and I laugh with him until we cry and our love for each other isn't nor will it ever be any less. :)

Have a great weekend!

A Love Story.

I was sitting in my first ever design class in college after Winter break had ended seven and a half years ago. I was twenty-two. I had no idea what to expect. It had been a crazy break. I was working part time at my dad's restaurant and going out every weekend with my friends. College life was good! I was a little heart broken after dating a guy who in turn was dating other girls at the same time he was dating me and that ended pretty quickly. At the beginning of the new semester and my first design class, men were the last thing on my mind. I was ready to go into my major with full force and so excited about what was to come. I had no idea that this would be the semester I would meet my future husband.

He walked into class wearing a green shirt and sweatpants and I thought, who is this guy? I was intrigued. He sat at the table in front of me with his back towards me and every time he turned around I would get butterflies.

When we had critiques on our designs, I noticed he was pretty darn good at what he did. He had some pretty good ideas. He also seemed kind. He wasn't one to brag and seemed really down to earth and humble. Something in me wanted to know him more.

I joked with my friends that I needed to meet his guy and one of them told me, why don't you just ask him to breakfast after class or something? Was he crazy? I couldn't do that! But I really, really wanted to. Every time class ended and I saw him walking towards the parking lot my heart raced. My friends made fun of me and kept telling me to just talk to him. I just couldn't!

It was April and the semester was rearing its end. I needed to get to know this guy. I felt it. My heart was telling me I would be friends with him and maybe it could turn into something else. In one of the classes, I sat next to him while sketching ideas. We started talking! He was kind of shy but so sweet. We talked for a bit and that was it. I'll admit I was bummed! The next class would be a new day.

He then sat next to me in the computer lab. I was thrilled! Again, my heart was racing and jumping for joy it could have come right out of my chest! We talked a bit more but once again, that was it! Was this guy ever going to ask me out? Ask for my number? There wasn't much more time left!

One day I decided I would use my birthday as an excuse. I was getting together with some friends at a bar and I wanted, I needed to invite him. I went over to a friend that sat across from him and started talking about my birthday and how I wanted my friends to go. I mustered up the courage and went to him and gave him my number! We exchanged numbers and that same day (I don't know what got into me!) I texted him to ask him if this was his number. So lame but I needed an excuse! He texted me back and after a couple of texts, he asked if he could call me. Holy shit! Yes! Of course you can! That's not how I answered, I tried to sound relaxed and said, yes. :) I was so nervous!

We talked for about two hours about anything and everything. It seemed like we had known each other for years! Turns out our values and morals were so much alike and I loved that. We talked about college, our lives, our families. He never made it to my birthday but he called to tell me he couldn't make it. The day of my birthday we had class, when I got there, he turned around to look at me and mouthed "happy birthday". I almost melted into my chair. We were inseparable after that. The semester ended and we hung out almost every day. It turns out he liked me from the beginning too but he was so shy! I don't regret making the first move one bit. :)

Things were not perfect. We had a lot of differences we had to work on. Our hearts were in the right place but our minds were crashing! It wasn't entirely a fairy tale, but who's relationship is? After a couple of years we struggled but we made it work. That second year we got engaged and a year after that we got married. Two years after that we welcomed a beautiful boy into our world!

This Thursday is our four year anniversary. Four years may not seem like a long time, and it's really not, but I feel like in these four years I've grown as a person more than ever. We are a strong couple. We get through obstacles together and we still clash and fight but it doesn't mean we love each other any less or that we will give up. It means that we have another thing to learn from each other and we compromise, we get through it. We are better people and we bring out the best in each other. We have learned that we make mistakes and to apologize when we are wrong even if our pride wants to get the best of us sometimes. We say I love you every single day even if we are mad at each other and do not go a day without texting "have a good day at work". It's the little things that really matter to us.

I cannot wait to see what this life has in store for us! Sharing this life with my husband is more than a blessing. I love him more than he will ever know.

Have a great week friends!