Love Month

This weekend we had beautiful weather and while Jack was washing the car and Elliot playing in the garage, I decided to clean out some of the remaining boxes from our move, three years ago. Better late than never right?

I was going through this one box where I had things that were from when I lived at home with my parents and found so many memories. I have kept every single card, note and letter that Jack has ever given me in the almost nine years we have been together which is a lot of stuff, and it brought back so many amazing memories. The first Valentine's card, first birthday card, love letters where he expressed his feelings in ways that made my heart skip a beat. He wrote "I can't wait to marry you!" a lot and "I love you more than I can say!" I've always loved his handwriting too!





We used to write love letters to each other back then saying how much we loved each other, before we got married and how we couldn't wait to be married and start that part of our lives. We also had the letters that mentioned we had had a fight, but how that didn't make him feel any different about us. I felt all of the feelings when reading them and I saved some so that Jack and I could open them together again and read what he wrote years ago. We laughed about what he wrote with a knot in our throats remembering those times saying "remember this? I remember that time!"

Going through that box was a great reminder that now all those years later, we still feel the same if not more in love with each other as we have gone through marriage, parenthood, the stresses of life, of owning a house, having bills to pay, and car payments, and the many things that make marriage so hard and so wonderful at the same time. Sometimes we are going through the days on what seems like fast forward x8 and that is okay because it is part of life, but reading the letters and cards also made me realize that we need to slow down.

They reminded us that no matter what, we have each other's backs just like we did when we met and fell in love. We may not write each other those long love letters as we used to, but we talk to each other and tell each other how we feel. While it's certainly not butterflies and rainbows all of the time, at the end of the day we feel how we felt in those love letters and notes and cards. We are happy and we are pushing through life together, plus there are still love notes that we leave each other in our lunch bags or around the house and those make our marriage and life a lot sweeter.

Enjoy your loved ones everyday, tell them and show them how much you love them this month and everyday! ;)

My Family.

This weekend we were all cooped up in our home because Elliot wasn't feeling good. Well, except for Saturday morning since we needed to run some errands but as soon as we got back home we got into comfy clothes, sweats for Jack and leggings for me (of course) and vegged out the rest of the day. I had planned to attend a pampered chef party with my best friend on Sunday but Elliot wasn't feeling good and I just couldn't leave him and he didn't want to leave me which made me feel good but also bad because I knew he was miserable.

This weekend I really realized the importance of my little family, not that I didn't know that before, but being together the entire weekend without going outside was the best thing in the whole world. Take-out, adult drinks, and TV were our go-to's along with meds for Elliot.

It was also a weekend of tests, family tests. You know when you are so tired, your kid is crying because he's feeling like shit and finally falls asleep and you feel a moment of Heaven. This happened Friday night. Being a parent is so hard and trying sometimes! I was laying down with Elliot sleeping next to me, and Jack came in and sat with me, we started talking about the vacation that we have been wanting to take the minute I found out I was pregnant and were planning for this year. It turned into a complete argument that I did not want to have and I found myself yelling, quietly, at Jack for no real reason. Like ugly talking to him. He walked out of the room upset as I lay there fuming, for a good five minutes, then I realized what am I doing? This argument had zero reason for becoming well, an argument. I am not that person, yeah of course we fight over other issues, but the way I was with him that night was ugly. I saw myself and felt embarrassed that I let myself talk to him that way. I got up and went into the kitchen to apologize.

I think over the course of not only our marriage, but our relationship, we have learned, the hard way, that we need to pick and choose our battles, not every single thing we disagree on needs to be talked about or argued about. There are things that we will always and I mean always, disagree on and we have learned to let those go. So Friday night, as things were getting heated (not that kind of heat), I stopped, I said I didn't want to talk about it anymore and that was that. Then I apologized. Then he apologized. And all was good in our world again. We continued our night as if nothing had happened and didn't bring it up again.

Then Sunday, my mother-in-law came over and I honestly can't even remember how it started but Jack and I started on a subject we know we are always going to disagree on, right in front of my mother-in-law and once again we stopped right then and there. As simple as that, and didn't bring it up again. For one, I didn't want to do that in front of my MIL and two, it was going to take us directly to nowhere.

I think that we have been so tired or as Jack puts it, we haven't slept in thirteen months (ha, I agree) and sometimes we let little things get the best of us, or at any other given moment for that matter.

Where I am trying to get at is that before my MIL left, she told me, out of the blue, what a good man I have in my hands, what a good father he is, good husband, a hardworking man, etc. and I completely agreed with her then she looked at Jack and said how he has a good woman, a good mother and wife, I could have cried, she kissed me on the cheek and reminded us of the good life that we have. And we do. We really do. She also told me, this is forever, you and him, you guys are forever, with this beautiful boy you have. How right is she! In the three years of marriage that Jack and I have under our belts which could be newlywed years still, we have fought, cried, laughed, wanted to kill each other and loved each other like no other. I don't think longevity has anything to do with it, but the quality is what matters to me. I think we are going to go through trials and tribulations no matter how long you've been married and can happen at any stage of the marriage.

Adding Elliot to this whole thing was truly a blessing and we still continue to do and go through all those things but we learn every single day how to be better with each other, how to be better parents, better people in general. Our marriage isn't perfect and will never be and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so glad Jack and Elliot picked me to be part of their lives. 

We didn't need my MIL to remind us, but she was there for a reason. I love my little family and what's become of it, fights and all. As my MIL walked out she told Elliot that now he needs a little sister as Jack and I laughed and looked at each other then looked at her like "no way, we are not doing this again". Of course we are but I think we first need to catch up a little bit on our thirteen months lack of sleep. ;)

Have a great Monday! :)