Eight Months.

So on Friday our little button turned eight months old. When Jack is holding him, I look at him and think wow he's getting so big and get completely depressed. But, this is getting to be more and more fun now that he does so many more things that I can't wait to see what's in store.

Weight: 18.3 lbs

Clothing size: 9-12 

Diaper size: 3 still!

Feeding: Still the same although your portions are getting bigger! 

Milestones: The other day you were on your legs in a crawling position and all of a sudden you sat back up. We were impressed! Your two bottom teeth are right there and you look so cute. You also started saying dadadada which to us, is just dada :) You say nananana and we are pretty sure that it will turn into mama and I can't wait! You learned to clap and it is the sweetest thing, you let out a sort of sigh, smile, laugh when you do it, I don't know how to explain it but it warms my heart.

Loves: Well you love your chicken and veggies! I've been puréeing your veggies but I take the chicken out and cut it as small as I can and mix it with your veggies. You're loving it! You love when we hide from you and surprise you although my brother did this to you the other day and you got scared and started crying. You lasted a second and went back to playing with him. You also sleep on your belly and I know it's not the safest but even if I flip you you go back to it so I just left that one alone. You can munch on carrots and celery all day, I give them to you for your teething and you love them. 

Dislikes: Diaper changes. You flip and get on your belly and you arch your back, it's crazy. You don't like being on your back for too long before wanting to get into everything.

Adventures: You had your first virus called Bronchiolitis. Not fun. You were coughing and coughing so I took you to the doctor where she immediately diagnosed you upon listening to your little lungs. You're on nebulizer treatments and I took you back to the doctor yesterday and she said you're doing so much better! She still said you have to do the treatments but you should be all better by Monday. It hasn't been fun waking up at four in the morning but whatever we need to do to make you healthy we will do!

Mommy and Daddy could not get through the month without: Each other. We have a relay race with you so that we can get things done around the house! You can't stay still and you hate not being entertained.

Happy Eight Months Button!

Note to mamas- Trust your gut. I noticed Elliot was coughing on Sunday evening and immediately knew this wasn't a normal I-have-a-cold cough. It was a rougher, coarser sounding cough and I second guessed myself for a bit thinking I could just give him some home remedies to help him get over it but ultimately trusted myself and I took him to the doc right away the next day. Turns out it was a virus and he had to get treatment for it or it could have gotten worse. When you know something isn't right with your baby, trust your instinct! You will probably and most likely be right about it. :)

Weekend Fun-ness.

Naturally, with Fall weather and Fall almost here, the weekend began with a little bit of decorating. Now that we have our very own home, I told Jack there will be an explosion of decorations for every season there is. Tastefully done of course ;)

I couldn't have been more excited to see all the things that stores are coming out with for this season and I couldn't wait to snag a few of them. If you follow me on IG (@shadiabrown) I posted a pic of how I started. I've added a couple more things to it but wanted to keep it simple and somewhat neutral to be able to transition this into Halloween and eventually Christmas.

You know I had to add a button in there somehow. :)



I purchased most of this stuff at Hobby Lobby and Marshalls and used items I already owned as well. I made the banner with tags and twine I got at Hobby Lobby and wrote the letters with a white marker. I also added some dead branches from one of our trees to the white pitcher vase in the dining room. I still need to add a few more things but I'm sure a trip to Target will solve this.

Saturday was a shopping and relaxing day and we really didn't do much since we had to wake up bright and early on Sunday to go to The Color Run. It's a 5k untimed race that is done just for fun while getting showered with colored powder at different stations. It is so much fun. The only downside was that it started right at the time Elliot takes his first nap and he was not a happy camper since there was a guy with a microphone cheering the enormous crowd and there was a lot of noise. He just wasn't having it. Once we were able to move past the start line he fell asleep and was so good during the entire thing. He was happy, looking at everything although we did have to cover him good at every color station but he still got his white onesie along with his toes and hands full of color. He looked so cute. This is the first year I've done this (thanks to Jack's company for paying for it!) and I'm sold. Definitely doing this from now on.

I do have to say that I need to invest in a better stroller, one made for actual walks or for running (hint hint Jack)



I was a little bit bummed because we had to wear Jack's company's shirts and not the actual shirts they gave us for this but I got over it. I can wear it to the gym around the house ;)

It was hotter than a mother that day (after such beautiful weather we had been having) and Elliot ended up with no socks, no head band and ultimately in diapers for the ride home. We still stopped by to get groceries and I was more than exhausted. 5k is no joke. Who am I kidding, we walked most of the way but ran through the color stations to avoid so much color on us but ended up really dirty and not planning ahead. We didn't bring towels for the aftermath (as most people did) so we sat on Elliot's swaddles, changed our shirts and took showers as soon as we got home. After scrubbing for about ten million hours, we were finally clean and relaxed the rest of the day. We even got to watch a movie and have a beer to close the weekend.

Oh and I almost forgot to say that Button can now text ;) Send him your number for a cute duck face selfie! 

Have a great week!

Good Read-ance.

It's been raining all day long for the past three days here in Texas. How crazy is that? This is a very rare occurrence and I feel like we need to make the most of it! It is so nice. Although being stuck in an office all day isn't a good way of enjoying it, I am sipping on some green tea while going through emails and starting my work.

This rain and my tea make me think of being at home in bed reading a really good book with the curtains drawn and the blinds open looking outside listening to the rain with a baby playing by your side. Can you picture that? I know I can.

With Fall almost here, I'm already looking forward to good books to read in bed, although I already do that, but it just seems so much better when it's cold out. Good read-ance to this hot weather! I hope we finally start heading into cooler days because I am over the sun beating down on us.

Jack and I (before I had Elliot) would always and I mean always go to bed and read for a little bit. He's also an avid reader but he is more into the mystery/horror/suspense kind of genre. He's a huge fan of Stephen King and I like him as well, but I would just rather watch the movies (ha!). I did read Dolores Clairborne (a suggestion he made) and I absolutely loved it. It's a great book that I didn't include in this mix but definitely a good one to pick up. I'm more of the good, real life plot, girly, makes you laugh and cry kind of books and all these are great authors in that genre.

I am always on the lookout for a good book and what I've found (as a graphic designer) is that most of the time, if a book has a good cover then it's more than likely a good read, it attracts me to it and you know they spent time planning for it. If they invested in that then it means it must be good right? I usually skim through the summary on the flap and it has to catch my attention right away. If it doesn't, I put it back and move on. My favorite ones are always the ones that seems to have a good, original plot. If they're too cliché, or too predictable then I definitely put it back. I also buy two or three at a time because sometimes I start reading a book and decide it would be better for another time and grab the next one to read. I don't know what it is, but I guess it depends on my reading mood.

If there is a book that I really enjoy, I try to stick to that author to read a couple more of theirs. Kristin Hannah is a great author. Her books are so easy to read and her content is deep. Emily Giffin is one of my favorites. I've read all of her books and her next one is in the works, I can't wait. There's a movie out for Something Borrowed and I haven't watched it! Because you know what they say, the book is always better than the movie (Harry Potter may be an exception since the movies are awesome). If you've never read one of hers go buy one right now! Or as I do, go to Barnes & Noble and head straight to the clearance section. I've found most of my favorite ones there (though I did order all her books online) or head to Amazon and you should be able to find a good deal on them. I'm currently reading The Island by Elin Hilderbrand and I'm liking it so far. I guarantee you all of these are page-turners. I have a lot more suggestions but I'll write a post on those later and for now, I'll leave you with these as some of my favorites. Some of these I guarantee will have you wanting to read the entire thing in one sitting. Now go get yourself some beer tea and start reading!

Happy almost Friday!

Our Weekend in Pictures.

Ugh, Monday. I hate you. It doesn't fail. I get the crazy blues every.single.Monday. Is this normal? I feel empty on Mondays.

You know that scene in SATC when Miranda quits her job because her boss is a jerk to her and she finally makes Brady's science fair and she says something like, "I made it, I never make it." Well, I don't want to be like that! I want to be able to make all of my son's activities so that is something I always think about. I've also just been wanting to be with Jack and Elliot as much as possible. I think that instead of Elliot dealing with separation anxiety I am the one going through it. Weird. I'm not being clingy, or needy I just love my family so much and I love spending time with them.

I also think it's a combination of missing Jack and Elliot and hearing and seeing so much bullshit and hypocrisy from people. Do you ever get that? You're almost at that breaking point but you decide you will be the bigger and better person and you hold on to that for dear life? I'm almost there. But I won't let it get to me. I won't.

I can't complain about the weekend though. College football season finally started for us and Elliot got to go to his first game with us. They are always so much fun and this year we get to enjoy them as a family. Besides, we get to go back to our old college stomping grounds and Jack and I always talk about how we met and how things were back then and how far we have come. We loved it there and still do.

Elliot did great, but after a while the later it got and as the crowd got louder he just wasn't having it. He cried every time we screamed poor thing. We ended up having to leave at the end of the third quarter but it was so much fun nonetheless.

 I know his looks are deceiving but I swear he had fun! (Ha!)

Our football field is in the middle of the mountains and the weather and view are perfect! I love being there. It's so pretty and peaceful despite the awesome, loud crowd. The sky was overcast and it rained for a couple of minutes before we even got there but it cooled us down. There was a fan of the opposing team among our team fans and if his team made a good play he would get up and start cheering and asking for high fives and we all just stared at him. It was hilarious.



My entire world.

Then of course some mama and baby fun the next morning. His first bottom tooth is finally coming in and he is getting whatever he can in his mouth to help the itching. He hasn't been complaining, yet. We can't wait to see his smile with his little tooth!

I found this beer while grocery shopping and with Fall here I couldn't pass it up! It's delicious! This will definitely be my go-to beer for the season.

This little one is almost officially crawling now. We have been practicing with him as much as we can. I say officially because he slithers and gets to where he needs to that way, but he's already getting on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth. So damn cute!

Happy-not-so-happy Monday! Go Miners!

Weekend Recap.

So, it happened again...I cried on my way to work after leaving Button at daycare. How many times will this happen before it stops? Never? And he's only seven and a half months old. I'm in for it.

Wasn't this the most amazing weekend of weekends? It was. Until yesterday. We went out to eat with the family and we put Elliot with his car seat in a high chair, you know how you flip it over and it's wide enough to put the seat in there? But then the bottom is now narrow making it so unbalanced? This is something we NEVER EVER do. It just seems so dangerous. We always use a chair and put it against the table so that the car seat doesn't move at all. Well for some reason, against our better judgement, we just did it. We thought Elliot would be okay. I got up for only a second and that's all it took for me to hear a loud crash and Jack screaming "oh shit!" and find Elliot under the table face down. The Best Mama Award goes to...not me. Everyone was staring! I felt terrible!

Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as I thought and after only crying for about 30.2 seconds he calmed down and only had a little bruise above his eyebrow. Not that this makes it okay but it's certainly much better than him splitting his head open. Never again, lesson learned. Whew, what a freaking scare. None of us could even finish our dinner. After that when we got home it took lots of kisses and snuggles with a full checkup from my mom and he was back to his normal little self. My poor little Monkey.

Okay, besides that, the weekend was great. It was so relaxing. Knowing that we wouldn't have to go to work on Monday was the best feeling.

We started Saturday night with beer and crossword puzzles. You know how I told you I recently discovered that Jack shares my obsession? Yup, call us nerds. They're just so much fun to figure out. Every time we complete one, we date it and write our names on it. So dramatic.



Saturday we started late and it felt damn good. No rushing out of the house early, no pressure getting ready, no projects to start or finish, we just let time make the calls. A quick trip to Target also happened ;)

Sunday we had a little cookout for ourselves. Burgers, brats and homemade guacamole. We completely stuffed ourselves. There's nothing like the sun coming in through your window, your hubby on the grill, and you preparing everything else with a beer in hand, a happy baby in his high chair, and some good food cooking waiting to be demolished. I love days like these.

With these in hand :)

And this baby boy was there too. Because playing requires so much concentration.

Then Monday rolled around and we got that feeling of, oh-shit-we-gotta-get-ready-for-work-and-daycare and it just sucks. You know what I'm talking about?  Our only consolation was that at least it would be a four day week and we will get to the weekend soon again. Till then, we work.

Yup, I know the feeling Button.

Also, I ended up ordering this crib in this espresso color in case you were wondering :) Finally Elliot will have an actual little bed to sleep in.

Hope your Labor Day weekend was great!



No-Bed Baby.

I always thought that by the time Elliot was born that I would have his room completely set up. Crib, glider, decorations, toys, books, etc. All is true except for the glider and crib. The TWO main important items. It was hard when you think about the fact that we had just moved in and needed actual things to survive like a washer & dryer, a fridge, sofas, you get the deal. The crib kind of got put on the back burner and now I feel like it's been time. Of course I wasn't comfortable putting Elliot in one when he was born and he had his own little bed, meaning, his play pen. As he grows and grows I feel like he should already have a more formal place to sleep in and not a play pen. I think I should only use that now for actual play time. This is kind of a big deal because I feel like Button doesn't sleep comfortably in there anymore. I feel like I'm a bad mama for not thinking about this sooner!

However, I have been doing my research for a while now looking for the perfect crib to match his room (although I'm planning to have it in our room for a while) yes, I'm THAT mom. I just feel like he will be so far away from us in his room since our bedroom is downstairs and his is upstairs. Great thinking when we bought the house!

I also reaaaally wanted this Jenny Lind crib (and still could be a contender) I mean, look at it, what's not to love? It's vintage, it's beautiful, and the most inexpensive of the three but I read both good and bad reviews on it so now I'm over thinking it. Jack wasn't crazy in love with it either which makes it harder.

Anyway, I have found the perfect two and I'm having a hard time deciding. I'm also wondering if white is the way to go since it's usually a crib color picked for girls (I think?). As I said, I have been trying to decide between these two and I just love them both. Help!

I have no idea which one to get! I better decide soon or one of us will have to end up sleeping on the floor so that Button can sleep on the bed ;) 

Yay for Thursday!

Seven Months.

Sorry guys I've been crazy busy these past few days and I'm posting Button's update a little late. It's just beyond crazy to me how smart and amazing this little creature is. He's learning so much at such a fast rate. I know as mamas we say that about our kids all the time and to everyone but seriously, how can we hold back such information about our little ones when they're so awesome!

Excuse the half erased board. This kid could not get his hands off of it.

Weight: About 18lb. Your next appointment is not until nine months.

Clothing size: 6-12 the six month stuff I got you is going out the door pretty soon. 

Diaper size: 3 I seriously think we will be getting 4's in no time.

Feeding: Your schedule is pretty much the same as last time but you don't drink as much formula as you used to because you like your solids a lot more. And you drink water now too. I'm not going to let you drink juice until you're older.

Milestones: You are literally days away from crawling. I also love to stand you up on my legs because you push yourself up and down. I love that!

Loves: We recently got you a baby remote control. You crawl (or slither rather) your way to it and you press the buttons changing channels left and right. While all that is cute, we opted for one just for you. It plays songs, numbers and it lights up, you love it. We also bought you a Glow Worm and you are mesmerized by the way it lights up. I give it to you when I lay you down and you lay on your side touching its lit face. Your absolute most favorite toy is a monkey your auntie Yams bought you when you were born. We hang it from your car seat and you ALWAYS hold on to it when you're in it. Even if you're asleep. If we forget it (cause grandma takes it out so you can play with it) you look for it and you give me a look as if you want to ask me "where the hell is it mama?" It's the cutest thing.

Dislikes: You're starting to give us a hard time with diaper changes. You don't complain but you are so squirmy and try to get your hands on everything you can find on the bed while we are changing you. I think you just don't like not being able to do what you want during that time. When you're congested, you hate saline and the bulb. You already know when we get close to your nose and you start swinging your hands and turning your body away from us. I don't blame you on this one, it probably sucks. You also have never liked ANY teething toys. This has given us a hard time because although you love your hand, it's not enough to calm the itchiness of your gums.

Adventures: Everyday is an adventure with you! You did hit your head on the high chair because since you want to grab and touch everything, you were looking down on your little safety belt and you were slouching and hit your head. You cried for about 2.5 seconds and went about your business. You also love leaning all the way to the edge of the tray and biting it with your gums. It probably feels good since you're teething. 

Mommy and Daddy could not get through the month without: Still your paci but mostly all your toys. You can play with anything and you stay occupied for a good while.

I am also loving the stuff that Old Navy is coming out with and seeing that Fall and Halloween is almost here and reading other blogs it seems like everyone is in the spirit already! So why not join them?

The toys were purchased at Target and the PJ's and onesie from Old Navy.

More on ON. Seriously, I snagged this onesie as soon as I saw it. I love it!

Happy Wednesday! 

A Place To Call Home.

First off, did you guys watch Project Runway last night? It was such a good episode. I mean I never miss one but last night's was awesome. I got teary eyed when Heidi told Justin he was out. Ugh! Granted his dress wasn't his best but it really wasn't his time. Then he goes to say bye to the other contestants and they all cried! I cried right with them too. Then when Tim Gunn started crying and used his save for Justin? I was on the verge of more tears. That darn Tim Gunn. Gotta love him. Ahhh I love that show. Okay okay, post time!

When we purchased our home it was a foreclosure and it had been vacant for an entire year. Previous to that, the owners were renting it, and you know, when you're renting you don't give a crap about your yard. At least this was the case with this house. It was a disaster. Literally. I hated coming home to a dirty, ugly yard. As I walked inside it felt like home but I wanted the whole driving-up-to-my house-and-loving-it feeling. I didn't get that before.

We got a few estimates and some were just outrageous. No way anyone is going to pay you that much for landscaping dude. All we were asking for was grass, rock and brick. Something simple and cozy. After some research, we went with a landscaper recommended by two coworkers. He did such a good job! He was always on time and did exactly what he said he was going to do in the time frame he promised. Seriously, most of the time working with contractors is a nightmare but this one was easy breezy.

We also had major rain which is why all the dirt is on the sidewalk. Nice. Gosh I cringe when I look at this pic. Please mildly glance at these ;) Thanks.



Finally the landscaper began and he rooted about six dead trees. It was a mess but it already looked a million times better. I didn't mind all the dirt, I was so excited about getting to the final product.

Finally almost done! He still needed to do a couple more things to the irrigation and finish planting the rest of the grass and clean his shit up.

End result! (for now). What a difference right? It's a completely different home. I think now you understand what I was saying!

 It truly feels like home now. Granted, it still needs work, we plan on getting a tree, maybe a palm tree and a couple more plants because it looks a little bare, but maaaaan I get home and I get happy upon seeing how it turned out. You know how they say "it's the little things" I take that literally. Stuff like this makes me happy. I think that having a home means being proud of it and having it exactly the way you want it. I know with a house you're never done and you need a whole lot of money, but we take it day by day and work on a small project every weekend. I feel like this was one of the major ones we had and we finally tackled it and accomplished it. Thank God all this was done before Jack's birthday! We couldn't be happier.

Aaaaand it's Friday!! What more could you want? Have a great weekend! Cheers! (you know it) ;)

Our Weekend in Pictures.

This weekend was nothing short of relaxing, busy and fun. I will let the pics do most of the talking.

Friday after work I got home to this and just had to snuggle with my little monkey.

I also got the latest IKEA catalog and got immediately depressed upon seeing all the awesome stuff they have for such good prices and we don't have one here. Boo to that.

After drinking a beer and getting over my severe depression (totally kidding) Jack and I decided to install a brand new mirror after taking down a hideous oval shaped one that came with the house in our half bath downstairs. We measured and prepped everything all we needed to do was attach the brackets to the back of the mirror to hang it. I'm in the bedroom and I hear Jack cussing so I go to the kitchen to find that he had broken the mirror while drilling the brackets onto it. Yay! Broken brand new mirror. We got over it pretty quick though and went to Hobby Lobby the next day and got a better one. I forgot to take a pic after we hung it up. Duh.

Saturday we headed to our usual grocery shopping and this little one slept through most of it.

 I can't believe he's sitting up!

I also got to snap a few pics of him in this cutest little outfit from Old Navy. We then headed shopping for a few items and one of our stops was World Market. Picked up some olives stuffed with Pepper Jack (get it? Ha) and this awesome bottle opener. We are having a mini party for Jack's birthday this weekend and I can't wait! It will be the first official party in our house. I hope I can make it through the night considering the fact that by ten-thirty or eleven I am out. Such a party pooper.

Sunday morning Elliot woke up at his usual time of six am to have his bottle and miraculously went back to sleep! Know what that meant? This girl got a whole hour and a half extra of sleep and this little Button woke up at eight-thirty. Win for mama. Jack was still asleep so I took Elliot upstairs for some playtime. 

We then cleaned like mad people in preparation for Saturday night. We did so much! We even had time to have a little cookout for ourselves and a glass of wine.

 To add to all of this weekend excitement, our front yard will be finished by Wednesday! Post on that coming right up! Hope your weekend was fun!

Grandpa-less.

Okay, this is far from a baby related post, but, in a way it sort of relates. This is my story about my dad that I have been struggling to write about for a while, I write, go back and delete, then add, and finally I finished! If you don't want to read it it's okay. I will take no offense! I really believe that in a way this is one of the reasons why I wanted and needed to start a blog. Of course also to document my little family's journey, but this is also a way of venting? Maybe. I needed to get this out once and for all. I won't bore you with it again, I promise.

I've been debating on whether to write about this or not. It's been such a hard subject in our family that I thought about it a million times over, asked my sister if she thought it was a good idea, she didn't think so but said that ultimately it was my decision. It's a very sensitive subject for me and one that makes me tear up every time I think or talk about it.

Button doesn't have a grandfather. He probably never will. Jack's father passed away a couple of years ago before we even thought about getting married. My dad was around and I was hopeful. I knew he would be the greatest grandpa ever. I saw it with my niece and he was the most amazing father to me and my siblings. I couldn't have asked for a better example in our lives other than my mom. That is, until he left us.

One day he decided to go visit his family in Jordan. Half way around the world. We all thought, cool, he hasn't seen his family in a while. Our family. He left and we were happy for him. BUT, he couldn't give us a return date.

My dad owned a Middle Eastern restaurant on the West side part of our city. I worked there for four years until it was time for me to start looking for a job related to my degree to gain some experience while I still went to school. My dad wasn't too happy about it. He always saw his restaurant as a family business, and it was, but we all had to move on to bigger opportunities. After that, his interest in keeping his business going slowly started declining. He just wasn't the same anymore. We could all tell (we meaning my mom, sis, brother and I) and it was sad because it was such a good business. It could have easily thrived. He also really wanted to move on to bigger and better things and he was tired of running a business that no longer was successful because he just wasn't interested in making it that way anymore. I really believe this was the last trigger in him and validation that his life here with us was no longer what he wanted or needed. Before he left to Jordan, he sold what we had all worked so hard on for seven years. Built it from the ground up and just like that it was gone. He sold it for pennies. He just wanted nothing to do with it anymore, he wanted to leave.

And that he did. You know, thinking about it, now I realize that he gave us many signs that we completely missed. Or maybe we had our doubts but wanted to blind ourselves? Whatever it was, they were right there in front of us. He had been an avid smoker consuming about a pack and half a day. One day he quit. Cold turkey. We were so happy for him because after so many years of us practically begging him to quit he did. All that meant for us is that he was going to start a fresh new life with us, be healthier, hunt for another business opportunity, be happier doing something else. Then another day, he started running on our treadmill. Running. (Maybe that was a metaphor for wanting to be ready to run away from us? Ha.) He worked out everyday. Something he had never done before. That's when I started getting a weird and funny feeling about all of this, but I set it aside and was happy for him. He felt better, he looked better. Then off he went. It was January I remember perfectly. He said he was going to look for a business opportunity in Jordan and if he found one, him and my mom would eventually move over there. My mom was ok with it, she thought that if he left his country to be with her, after thirty years of marriage, she would do whatever she needed to do to be with him. One month went by, two months, three months and no dad. We spoke to him often on the phone and skyped with him. The skyping was usually done at the wee hours at night his time. He always looked so tired and sleepy we couldn't understand why we couldn't Skype at a different time. It was always at that time.

After about nine or ten months after being gone he came back in October. We were all so happy! We had our dad back and my mom had her partner back. We decided to rent a cabin about three hours away and we all went. We had such a good time. It was all back to normal, almost. There was something about him that was off and we couldn't quite pin-point it. He was constantly on the phone saying it was my uncle calling. We brushed it off but that weird and funny feeling came back. Then after only about three weeks of being back he left once again. His thing was always that he was almost at the end of a good deal in Jordan and great business ideas. We believed him. Or we wanted to.

I started hearing rumors about him through the Arab community (big in my town) and started questioning them. Why would they say those things about my dad? My dad was perfect! He would never do that to us! They were crazy and mean and bad people. I think we badly wanted it to be untrue. To not believe them.

Then my mom went over to our apartment one day because she said she needed to tell us something. I already knew. He got married. To another woman. In another country.

That was only the beginning. My mom confronted him and he denied everything entirely. He even said, how could we not believe him? He told my mom she could believe what she wanted but that she knew how the Arabs loved talking about others and that she should believe him.

That was the end. It's been almost three years and after that last time in October, we haven't seen him again. He tries to contact us by email, text, phone, and me personally, I still can't answer. I can't talk to him. I have no desire to. It went from him walking me down the aisle to get married, dancing the night away at my wedding, being the best father and role model I could have asked for, to me not wanting to ever see or talk to him again. It's very sad and hard to admit, but I lost respect for him. The morals he taught us and instilled in us were all about family, being honest, working hard for what you want, etc. Maybe I am being overly dramatic but I am so hurt by all of this. At twenty-nine years old you would think I would be over it but it's almost harder because I think of all the things my kids will be missing out on without him, what I am already missing out on. He wasn't there for the birth of my child, when we purchased our first home, I could go on and on.



Elliot won't be able to call anyone grandpa and I'm sure that a lot of you out there go through this, it might even be pretty common, but it doesn't make it any easier. He's emailed and left me voice mails telling me congratulations on my son and I cry. I cry when I listen to them and immediately get rid of them. I think about my son and how amazing he is and how much my dad is missing out on. I know Elliot will be fine, it's just the thought of it that kills me. I was fortunate enough to meet my Arab grandfather before he passed away and he was truly a great man. My grandfather on my mom's side is the most amazing example of a man I will ever know. He is the epitome of what a father and grandfather should be. I don't get to see him too often because he lives in Atlanta, but I love him so much. I guess that's also why it hurts me because I know that having grandparents is quintessential in life.

I also hurt for my mom, I'm afraid she is lonely, and I'm sure she is sometimes, but she is such a strong woman. Never depended on my dad for anything. She's the most honest, loving, hardworking woman and I strive everyday to be even a little bit like her.

In his eyes, my dad never did anything wrong. My dad will always be the one missing out on our lives, on everything. I don't nor will I ever hate him. I'm thankful for everything he taught me and all the memories we made. He was a great father. But the fact remains; he abandoned his family.

Okay whew! I apologize in advance for all the sappiness but I am just being honest on how I feel. Thank you for reading!

On a lighter note. I'll leave you with a pic of my button to lessen the load of this post. What a change of pace from my last post to this right?!

Happy almost Friday!

Six Months.

Button got his six month checkup last Thursday. He also got his shots which always suck but he actually did pretty good this time. Slight fever for one day and back to himself the next. My little trooper. We also found out that he is now sixteen pounds and is in the fifty-sixth percentile for his length. Above average! This kid will be a tall one. I got these questions from Molly Alpert and decided to try this.

My little Button you are getting so big! It amazes me to see how much you're already doing. I can't wait for more! I love how we learn new things about you every single day. You love your daddy so so much, I can see it when you look at him and you make noises to get his attention. He's always telling me how amazing you are and how he can't believe we have you and neither can I. He's right.

Weight: 16 lbs.

Clothing size: 6-12!

Diaper size: 3

Feeding: This is your schedule-

6am- 8oz bottle

10am- Oatmeal with fruit

11am- 8oz bottle

4pm- 8oz bottle

6:30pm- Veggie & sometimes I add Oatmeal. (You're a hungry boy)

9:00pm- 8oz bottle

Milestones: You roll over all over the place like no other. You're almost sitting up and I can leave you sitting for a few seconds before toppling down on the bed. It's beyond cute. You're almost holding your own bottle! I can't wait for that day to come. I also started giving you water in a sippy cup and right now you play more with it than what you drink from it but you're getting the hang of it. I'm a proud mama!

Loves: You love, love, love your jumperoo. You can be in there playing for hours if I let you. You love EVERYTHING we feed you. You're just like daddy! I am so glad you're not being picky (yet), but for right now, I'm letting you try everything I can get my hands on and you've been doing so good. You love playing with your little rattle ball and love munching on your hand and blanket. You also love it when we make you laugh and being on your belly. If we make you laugh while on your belly you smile and put your head down as if you get shy. Melts my heart every time.

Dislikes: There's nothing that you don't like! Well, you've been giving us kind of a hard time with napping and going to bed. You sleep through the night fine but going to sleep is a problem. I think you just want to be awake all the time and you fight me when it's nap time and night time. You will probably get over it.

Adventures: You went to the mall with us for the first time! Well this is actually your second time, but the first time your were about two months old so it doesn't count. This time you were looking at everything and everyone! You loved it.

Mommy and Daddy could not get through the month without: Your paci. I know we are going to have a hard time getting you off of it but you love it right now and if you're starting to get a little fussy that just completely and immediately calms you down. Your jumperoo for sure. When I put you in it I can go get some things done and you're fine with this. It's a life saver.

Sorry for the blurry pic!

 We love you monkey!