Intro.

Hi all! Well I am new to this thing but I have so much to say I needed to get started someday. My name is Shadia Brown. I just turned 29 today actually and honestly this birthday was kind of like not important to me anymore. I think from now on, I'll be turning 29 every year (that's possible right?) but seriously, I think I got depressed just thinking about this day. Next year I'll be thirty and going into a whole new phase of my life. I have been married for two years and a half to an amazing man by the name of Jack and we have a three month old baby boy named Elliot, but we call him button hence my blog name. He is the most amazing little thing that has ever happened to us and we couldn't be happier to have such a wonderful little baby.

Jack and I met almost 6 years ago in college. We were in the same design class and didn't speak to each other the whole semester until the end! But hey, after that we were together for 2 years, engaged for one then we got married.

my little monkey!

 I am a graphic designer turned training representative for a really great company that creates jobs for people with disabilities and I.Love.It. It's possibly the best job I've ever had. I mean don't get me wrong, design really is my biggest passion, but helping people could very well be what I was brought into this world for.

So, as I said, today is my birthday and I really didn't care much for it. Where did time go?? I know 29 is still young but you go through those stages where you think you're really old turning 21 then all of a sudden you're 29 and think wow THAT'S old because it sneaks up on you like no other. Today is also a big day for me because it was little button's first day in daycare since family has been watching him for the past two weeks and today they couldn't watch him so off to daycare we went! He did so good and I felt so comfortable leaving him there. I wish I weren't a working mom and were able to stay with my little guy, but it's impossible when you need a million things done to your brand new home (totally not new and in need of a lot of repairs but new to us!), need a new car, have to buy a shit load of baby stuff, etc. so here I am as a working parent. I just got back to work two weeks ago from my awesome 12-week maternity leave that I wish would've never ended! I loooved being with Elliot everyday ALL day then having my husband come home to a home cooked dinner every night! Not that that has changed but the meals are simpler and easier since I get home, still have to pick up around the house, do laundry, take care of a baby and make dinner. I guess things aren't perfect and it had to end someday and man was it hard. The last week of it I got anxiety, couldn't sleep and couldn't stop thinking about how little my baby was (or still is) and how I would have to leave him everyday for a whole eight hours to go to work. The weekend before? Forget it, I was a big mess, Sunday I cried and cried, Monday I cried, Tuesday I cried, and so on...I couldn't have been able to get through it without my husband, my family and friends. They are the best, really, the best in the whole world especially my mom. She's the sweetest, most loving and caring mother a daughter could ever ask for and she loves her grandson to death! Then the second week came and somehow things get a little better, I say somehow cause I thought how can leaving my son ever get ANY better? I felt guilty and horrible for it but it really does get better. The best advice I got from friends is to think about what I am doing for my baby, I'm providing for him so that he can have everything he needs and that helped so much.

Anyway, I always, always, always wanted to start a blog but I chickened out cause I thought, who the hell will want to read anything I have to say? (write in this case) but here goes it and I hope you enjoy my posts! If you have any comments, suggestions, anything really please let me know!! Thank you!!