Friday, May 31, 2013

Spring Cleaning

So yesterday after my hubby did Button's laundry, I realized that his baskets are full of clothes that don't fit him anymore. I decided to take everything out and get rid of all the stuff he doesn't wear anymore and it made me sad because it was most of it! I had a bunch of 0-3 onesies that I had to very painfully put away because I can't believe how much my baby has grown. I kept saying "awww look at this one, and look at that one!" They're all sooo small and cute and a lot of this stuff he wore once or twice or not at all. I wanted to get rid of them, but I simply put them away because I've always had the feeling that I'm having all boys.

Anyway, the spring cleaning continues this weekend as I plan to clean out my closet and get rid of stuff I don't (or can't) wear anymore and the biggest project to tackle is our garage. It pretty much hasn't been touched since we moved in and there's still boxes with all the crap we brought from our apartment and don't know what to do with. You would think what the hell could fit in our 500sq ft apartment that we can't fit in a much bigger house, but trust me, even I don't know how we had so much stuff in such a small place. Beats me. We have donated a lot of the stuff but this weekend is about leaving it spotless and making way for our very own home gym. Insanity here we come! I know, a little late to be spring cleaning, but who's looking?

We also filled our new fridge with a little bit of groceries and had to whip up a quick dinner for Jack and I. Honestly, eating out gets old very quick and doing it four days in a row just sucks. You can hardly find food out there that is good and healthy and it's just so much better when it's home cooked. We had some chicken with this yummy and super simple salad. I usually make my own dressings but this time we bought a balsamic with honey dressing and as long as you don't drench your salad with it you're good to go. Totally random but I had to share.

I'll leave you with this pic of Elliot from his bath last night. My favorite part of the day!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Hair Loss.

Happy Friday everyone! These are the days Jack and I always look forward to more than Saturdays and Sundays I think. It's always our project night and that's really our way of unwinding from our busy weeks at work. It's also a three-day weekend for us thanks to Memorial Day and we are soo looking forward to our own little celebration of it which consists of a mini cookout for just us two and some drinks. I can't wait.

You know how they say "it's the little things in life that matter"? Well it couldn't be more accurate for us since we are most excited about this weekend because of the fact that our refrigeration gets installed Saturday and we are very happy about that because we have been dealing with a hot house everyday with a sweaty baby and sweaty us. It has sucked so bad! Nothing makes it better, fan, ceiling fan, open windows, nothing. So thank God that's happening.

Today is also Button's fourth month wellness checkup and he's getting his shots so that'll make for a fun start to the weekend as well. He got fever and got fussy last time, but this time I am preparing myself (and him) by giving him Tylenol before. We will see how that goes.

So, at the beginning of my pregnancy I really looked forward to having thick, shiny, healthy hair since I heard that's just what happens during pregnancy and thanks to the prenatal vitamins. I also wanted that "glow" that everyone talked about. I did get them! I loved my hair, no matter what I did to it it was always shiny, whether I used any product or not. Remember how I talked about not having done my hair for delivery in this post? It didn't matter to me because it was still shiny then. I did also get that glow. I could see it and people would tell me. It is all true. What they don't tell you is that this doesn't last forever. At least I had no clue.

After delivering, my hair was still thick and nice, BUT, by the time Elliot turned three months I started noticing that it just wasn't the same anymore. When I brushed it, I could see some hair come off. I know that we all lose hair everyday and yes I've always known that and it's happened to me, but this was different. Then it started getting worse. Every time I ran my hands through my hair, I was left with strands hanging from my hands. Shit. Of course I Googled it right away and yup, it's some hormonal change thing that women go through post-pregnancy and although it doesn't happen to all women it sure is happening to me. I seriously walk around the house leaving hair everywhere so now when I cook I make sure my hair is up and tight so as not to give Jack a hairy dinner (gross!!!). I also read that all you can really do is just "disguise" the hair loss. I don't want to do that! I want it to stop falling out!! This should only last another month or so and I hope I don't go bald by then! Fortunately, it is completely normal and should expect to go back to my normal self. Some of the articles also mention being cautious about this because a lot of the times hair falls on the baby and forms a tourniquet on their little fingers and toes that we might not be able to see so I am always checking Elliot to make sure there is no hair on him. I'm constantly sweeping, vacuuming and checking Elliot's playpen, blankets, clothes and our bed to make sure there's none laying around  when I put him down and it's really annoying. I would show you a pic of my brush but that would just be too gross. This article here explains everything better.

If you go through this, don't freak out, or actually if you're pregnant and you're reading this thinking oh shit this is gonna happen don't run around your house screaming (if it helps then do it!). It is normal and will go away. I will let you know how I do once all this is over.

Also, if you already went through this please let me know about your experience! I would love some words of encouragement :)

I could lose all my hair for all I care as long as I get to look at this little face everyday. It is and will always be worth it and I would do it all over again.

Update-I realize this post is a little late, but I had been writing it for a while!

Memorial Day weekend.

Wasn't this a great three-day weekend? Ahhhh oh so relaxing. But all good things must come to an end...

We had such a good time and did so much I don't know where to start. My poor little baby got his shots on Friday. Three needles on his little legs plus some drops. I can actually say that he did really good. He cried when they poked him but it didn't last very long. The aftermath of those things sucks though. I knew he would be getting fever after since it also happened on his first round of shots and I was prepared this time. I ended up giving him Tylenol (which I hate) before his shots, but they took so long to see him that it just ended up not doing anything for him. FAIL. I waited 7 hours and gave him another dose because he immediately got fever and was just uncomfortable and I also put a wet cloth on his little forehead and I could tell that felt good for him cause he didn't even dare touch it. He just laid there looking at me not moving just letting the cool cloth do its job. The doc also told me that his weight is just below average but he's doing good. His length is right at the middle mark in the average area and after holding him up she told me he will probably start walking early! She said he's doing a great job at strengthening his core so I might see a little Button running around before his time. Yay! That will be fun for mama and daddy (Uh oh). He is also teething now (I guess early stages?) and cannot get his hand out of his mouth. He has also been a little fussy, but I know nothing compared to what's about to come. Let the good times roll.

Don't they have cool little printed band-aids at the doc?

It was Friday so of course being the couple that we are, headed for a bite to eat and to get some cold ones. I know, we just don't change. You must think we have nothing better to do! (Maybe we don't). It was also the beginning to our weekend so we needed to celebrate. These weekends don't come around often enough and we have to take advantage of them. Don't judge.

Saturday we woke up extra early (not by choice) and headed to have breakfast and of course, where else? Target. The doc also gave me the go-ahead to start giving him cereal or oatmeal and to start him on vegetables. I really couldn't wait for that! So Jack and I got him some cereal to start with to see if he liked it or if we should switch to oatmeal and so far he's doing good with the cereal. We bought an organic brand that was recommended to me by a friend and I'm liking it. Or I should say, Elliot is liking it. I will start him on a new vegetable every 5-7 days and I'm eager to start cooking for him. I already knew I would be making my own baby food but I looked at a few "organic" vegetable purees (those pouches you squeeze) and they all contained ingredients like Ascorbic acid and although it is vitamin C needed by our bodies, the thought of it being artificial just made my skin cringe and I just could never feed that to my baby. Making your own is so simple, although more work, but way better for a child in my opinion. I'll keep looking for organic on-the-go packs just in case we are out and unable to take my own baby food. (Gotta have everything covered)

So we went home with everything we needed to give Elliot his very first cereal feeding and by the look on his face I can't say what he might have thought of it. It was the cutest thing. He would make a face and ended up spitting most of it out, but by the next few feedings in the next couple of days he ate all of it!  He's starting to like it more and more and I'll be introducing one veggie this Saturday. The doctor recommended starting with veggies first because she said that a lot of the times starting with fruits makes babies develop a sweet tooth and they end up not wanting a lot of veggies. Who can blame them!

Mama what the hell is this??

On Sunday we did not do much. Elliot still wasn't feeling good and we just chilled. I was able to get a couple of shots of him in his cute little outfit! (Thanks to my online shopping addiction).

By Monday he was himself again and went to visit Grandpa at the cemetery. I know Memorial Day is all about the soldiers who died in combat, but we still had to pay him a visit.

Love love love this pic!

Also, our fridge gave out and all our newly bought groceries went to shit. Lowe's had awesome sales going on because of memorial day and we scored ourselves a brand new fridge. Thanks Lowe's! After a loooong day of picking out a new one we headed home and prepared our grill for some chicken, grilled zucchini and corn on the cob, husks and all. Ok, so we had to throw a couple of hot dogs in there because we were just craving the bad stuff. And oh were they good. If you've never had grilled corn in its husk you MUST try it. Cut both ends of the corn, peel away the ugly leaves and soak in water for about 20-30 mins and grill. I marinated the chicken with a little mustard, lemon pepper and lime and NO salt. Thanks to my sis.

I hope you all had a great Memorial Day weekend! Onto the rest of this short week...:)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

My Story.

Another weekend came and went...oh well at least we get a three-day weekend this week thanks to Memorial Day yay! One of the few holidays Jack gets to take off since they really don't give them any but they get one whole week off during Christmas. ONE. Who gets that? HIM. Boooo. I get one day off. ONE DAY. Oh well. At least I get all the holidays off. All of them. Take that Jack! :)

This weekend was great! Lots of new things going on...

We finally put the coffee maker we got on our wedding to good use and made us some coffee this morning (much needed). I lost my debit card (it's never happened before!) which I think is a sign for me to stop online shopping so much and we worked on our yard for the first time since we bought our house.
Best coffee ever!

We switched Elliot's bottles from newborn to the Avent 4+ months. How can such a small change make me so sad? He's growing up so fast he needs to slow down! Today he is 4 months old and I just can't believe my little tiny almost six pound baby is now thirteen pounds, he laughs, smiles, talks up a storm, can almost roll over from back to tummy and can almost sit up! Unbelievable. He's already on #2 diapers and it drives me nuts to see him getting so big right before my eyes. It has been so much fun though. My itty bitty newborn is no longer itty bitty or a newborn for that matter, he is a baby, drinking from bigger bottles, wearing bigger clothes, knows when mama and daddy are home and loves to snuggle with. How can that already be? I am loving it though. I love to hear his little giggle that I know will turn into full fledged laughter in a matter of weeks (maybe days). That little boy couldn't make me happier. I love his little smile when I baby-talk to him and tickle him or hold him up airplane style and fly him around the house and see how mesmerized he is by it all. Man does time go by fast. He now sleeps through the night which I had been wanting and asking for since he was born and now I feel like this stage and part of him is so "grown up" I want him to be my tiny baby again! Don't get me wrong, I'm loving it! It's bittersweet because I also can't wait to see what the months will bring and be able to experience every milestone he will reach with him. I'm so lucky and blessed to be his mom.

So, this baby is our United Nations baby...I will explain...

Jack and I come from such diverse family that we still don't know what race we should put our baby under. Ok, not really, but once I tell you my story, our story, you'll know what I'm talking about.

I was born in Mexico (very proud of it) to my Mexican mother and my Arab father. I know. Weird. My mom is Mexican born and raised and my dad is from Jordan born and raised as well. My dad was in the Air Force and came to El Paso to Fort Bliss for a training. Like a good young kid, went to a club and met my mom. Get this, my mom didn't speak English and my dad didn't speak Spanish. What? To this day I have no idea how they communicated in the beginning. They tell me and my siblings that they just did what they could and also had friends translate for them. That deserves some major kudos right there. They were together for two months and decided to get married. After two months. Most of us would freak out at the thought of that! Well my parents did it. Three years after that I was born. So I am half Arab and half Mexican. And fully bilingual.

To say I grew up in a very diverse environment would be an understatement. The difference in mindsets, beliefs, culture, religion was crazy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've learned so much from both backgrounds and both are such culturally rich countries I love it. My parents let us pick what we wanted to be and believe in since we were little and I thank them for that! I have no complaints about my childhood. Having hummus for breakfast and enchiladas for dinner was awesome. I learned to make so many dishes from both countries, lived in one and visited the other a few times. Jordan has a beautiful culture despite all the negative beliefs about Islam. Every religion will have its fanatics. We came to the U.S. where my mom is an RN working in labor in delivery and my dad an engineer turned business man. I also love that our family was very close. That's something I will teach my children for sure. So Elliot has those two. Onto the other two.

Jack also comes from two different races. His mother is Korean and his father White. Told you. His mother is born and raised Korean from Seoul (the good Korea ha) and his father born and raised here in the U.S. Also two rich cultures that Jack has been able to incorporate into our household, more to teach our son and eventually our other kids (or kid). When we found out I was expecting, the first thing that popped into our heads was "what is this kid going to be?" We can't say he's more of one than the other because he's perfectly a quarter of each. So what is he? Well I grew up speaking Spanish, my dad knows Spanish, so I can say I was more of that culture. I grew up in Mexico so okay, I always check the Hispanic option when asked. I've also done a few "two or more races" since that option is now given, and although I can't say I'm more one than the other, I do feel more of my mother's culture than my dad's although my name and maiden name are completely Arab.

Jack on the other hand, could say that since he grew up here, he checks the White box when asked. He does have a lot of Korean culture in him though and I absolutely love it. The food is one of my favorites and I wouldn't have known about it if it weren't for him! I've even learned to make a few dishes myself. Yum. I guess it all depends on which culture you're "more of" and you check that box as you deem appropriate right?

I went to HS then I went to the university here and graduated with a Bachelor's in Graphic Design with a minor in Printmaking. So now, I am married to an amazing man, have a kid and work for a great company. Life seriously can't get any better than that for me. If I could do it all over again, I would do it the exact same way. I want that for my kids, I want them to have all the great opportunities I had, the morals I grew up with, the culture, the family-oriented environment. I want them to be able to know what Kimchi is, and if they want to eat hummus for breakfast and enchiladas for dinner, you better believe they will. Elliot comes from that because of Jack and I. I love that his eyes are a little ragged, his skin is the perfect combination of Jack and I and his little face is a mix of all four races. We get to share something with our little Button (and when we have more) a little bit from all four. We will tell him about the similarities and differences, the culture, the religion he will try all the foods and we will let him pick whatever he wants from each and every one of those things and make them his own, we will teach him the languages, how beautiful the places where we come from are (hopefully take him one day), and as I said, it can't get any better than that.

Did I mention that this little one can almost sit up? Such a big boy.


Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Day Has Come...

Well, it finally came. The dreaded day I had not been looking forward to ever since I was pregnant. I always thought I would breast feed (and by breast feeding I mean pumping) until Button was 6 years old (kidding!), but honestly at least till he was 6 months old. That was not the case (insert crying face here).

Oh well, I guess things just can't be perfect. I noticed I started producing less milk when I got back to work on Elliot's third month and started doing whatever it took to prolong my supply as much as I could. I drink literally more than the two liters of water we need a day, eat a shit load of peanut butter and oatmeal and have a good and rich diet (or so I thought?). My mom did tell me though that sometimes this happens when a nursing mom goes back to the hectic world of working. I still pumped twice at work and once or twice after work every single day and the first two weeks I got enough for the next day feedings, but slowly it began to decrease. Ha, our bodies work in mysterious ways.

Although I HATE pumping (or hated rather) I would have been more than happy to continue doing it for the sake of Elliot but Tuesday I can officially say was my last day. I tried hard to continue until his fourth month which is this next Monday, but couldn't lie and make myself believe I would make it. I couldn't. I tried. I swear I did. As I said, I HATED pumping but as a mom (as I mentioned in my Mother's Day post) you sacrifice a lot for your kids, now I really know and believe that, and would do anything to have been able to keep providing my child with my breast milk for as long as I could. Let me tell you what happened with this whole pumping deal.

When I had Elliot, he spent a week in the NICU (story I briefly told you about but will write about later) for breathing problems. For the first day he couldn't eat anything because they had to wait until he stabilized and they could take his breathing tube out. I began pumping that day and got nothing...the second day, drops. It was the beginning. 

Then, when Elliot was able to eat, I miraculously (or maybe not, that Man up there knows what he's doing) produced a tiny little bit of colostrum and was able to take it to the NICU so they could mix it with his formula to feed it to him. I was beyond happy. At least I knew that my milk was coming and Elliot would get all the nutrients he needed from me.

I wasn't kidding when I said drops.
I continued pumping at the hospital that day and produced a little more (anything helps!) and was able to actually take it and feed him myself for the very first time! Something all moms take for granted on the first or second day, by breast, might I add, and I was excited to be able to feed him a bottle, holding his head up while he still lay in his little incubator. I couldn't hold him since he was still attached to all these monitors on his little chest and could bleed if I held him wrong and one of them came out. Scary! 

On my last day at the hospital I was able to go in for one of the feedings and actually got to hold him for the first time in a few days. He was so tiny and fragile I was a little scared but thought hey, I said, I'm his mom I can do this! I fed him again (out of a bottle) and he ate like a champ. I knew this kid would be like his daddy, they eat and eat all day long.

 Daddy got to hold him too!
So, armed with confidence, I was released from the hospital and went home and pumped with a manual Medela pump that I was given at the hospital. It was awesome! I pumped and pumped and was able to send lots of breast milk to my little baby at the hospital. On the day we were supposed to bring him home (he ended up staying an extra day) we went to see him and a lactation consultant asked me if I had been allowed to breast feed him. I said no and she immediately went to get our baby and took me into a room. She said she was really upset with the nurses for not asking me or allowing me to do so because she said it was essential that he latched on right away otherwise he wouldn't take to my breast anymore.
Thinking about it now, I should have also been more aggressive and asked to see my baby to breast feed. She brought Elliot and I tried for the very first time. He latched on with the help of a bottle nipple since my breasts were so full and even though he wasn't on my actual breast I loved every minute of it. This lady was there for a reason that night and I am so grateful I was able to talk to her about it! I tried this for a couple of days and finally was able to put him directly on my breast and he latched on right away. I can honestly say this is the best feeling ever. It created an unimaginable bond between mama and baby like no other. I loved looking into his little eyes and have him staring back at me as if he knew he was getting the best from mama. Gosh I already miss that.

Button being the boy that he is was hungry all the time and it was tough (as shit) waking up at all hours of the night to feed him and sometimes it hurt like hell, but I knew I just had to do it. At about 2 months old I noticed that he was still very hungry all the time and I started to worry. What if he isn't getting enough milk? What if I'm not producing enough? Well I went and got me an electric pump because there was no way in hell I was going to keep pumping with the manual one. It works great, but it's too much work especially when I had to keep up with my little hungry boy. I did some research and got the Medela In Style Advanced Breast Pump and it is freaking awesome, money well spent. I was pumping milk in record time! I could see exactly how much Elliot was eating each and every time and that gave me peace of mind. After only a couple of weeks though when I tried breast feeding, I noticed he would eat less and less from my breast and that killed me! He got used to the bottle so quick that he didn't want me anymore!! What the hell!! I wanted to keep that bond going so bad, but I knew that it just wasn't going to happen anymore (at least I got the two months). I still kept trying and no I just gave it up and thought at least the transition would be easier once I went back to work. I started exclusively pumping from here on out.

Another tough decision we had to make was to start supplementing with formula. I hated the idea, but knew it was the best I could do for my baby. He just wasn't getting full enough. We went with Similac Sensitive because that's what he was given at the hospital and he obviously took it well so why fix something when it's not broken? We prefer the ready-to-go bottles since it is so much easier to take an unopened one when we are out and about and it's just more convenient for us. The bottle also fits perfectly with the Medela bottle nipple so it's so easy to just warm that up and throw the nipple on it. Now that I will be feeding him formula only we might try the powder of the same kind cause it can get expensive. Also, NEVER EVER heat up formula or breast milk in the microwave. It kills EVERY single nutrient in there. Worst thing you can do. We heat up water in the microwave or get it from our dispenser (for late night feedings) and put the bottles in there for a couple of minutes (until warm). I don't know how many times we have been out and there I am asking people for hot water in a cup to warm milk up, restaurants, Starbucks, even at the tax place and they're usually pretty cool about it.  Don't hesitate to ask!

I've come to terms with the whole formula deal and I'm on my second day of not pumping. I know all this will get easier and I will stop feeling guilty for not giving him my milk (there's nothing I can do! Anymore) and feeding him formula.

What I can say from what I've learned from my experience, is that you have to do whatever works best for you and your baby. As the parents, you and your partner make decisions that might not be what everyone else thinks of as "right" but if it works for you and your baby then do it. Nobody knows what's best for you but you. Whatever you're comfortable with is good and you learn along the way. As new parents sometimes we tend to ask for advice from everyone and although that can be good, it's ultimately up to you. As long as your baby is happy and healthy that is all that matters.

And this baby sure is happy and healthy!

I can go throw my pump away now. Not! I'll pack it nicely and put it away for the next baby.

Monday, May 13, 2013

My First Mother's Day.

Ugh, I hate the feeling I get when Monday is right around the corner. It takes away from our Sundays big time since we use this day to prepare for the dreaded Mondays. We do laundry, prepare lunches, prepare diaper bag, breast milk pump, clothes, etc. Why do they even exist?

Anyway, regardless of all of that this weekend was one of the best! I celebrated my very first Mother's Day. Our plans were to have a cookout for the moms in our family (our very first cookout!) to celebrate them and myself. Friday after work we headed to Home Depot to buy our grill. It was a beautiful rainy day. I wish we had a lot more of those here.

We have always preferred charcoal over gas and although it's more work, the food tastes way better for some reason. It's just more fun and feels like a real cookout. Don't ask me why, it just does. So we got an inexpensive, really cool little grill, some other house stuff and headed, where else, to get the beer for the night (we needed to make putting the grill together fun!) and ordered a pizza. You just can't go wrong with those two and weekends are cheat days so we get to eat whatever we want (almost). We put Elliot to bed, armed ourselves with the the baby monitor, two beers in the freezer and unpacked the grill. It actually wasn't hard at all to put together but it was a cool activity for Jack and I to do together.

So the grill was done and the Mother's Day gifts were next!

One day while on Pinterest and reading some really cool blogs, I saw a similar idea to this one. I decided to buy some jars at Hobby Lobby and at $5 bucks each it was a steal! Then I got a bunch of goodies- a nail file, loofahs, nail polishes and this St. Ives Timeless Skin Moisturizer that I LOVE. It is about $5 a container and you might think "oh it's so cheap it doesn't work" well let me tell you, it does! I apply it every night and morning after I've cleansed my skin and it is amazing! I've noticed a huge difference on my skin, it feels softer, less lines and not dry at all. I also made a sugar scrub from scratch from a recipe I found on Pinterest (I know Pinterest freak) using brown sugar, regular sugar, olive oil and vanilla. Everyone loved them!

Saturday morning we got up early, got ready and headed to the store to buy all the stuff for the cookout! On the menu were: steaks, veggie shish kabobs, guacamole and salad. Jack made chocolate covered strawberries for the moms. I was sooo busy preparing everything I didn't get a chance to take pics of the food! It looked and tasted so good. Bummer!

 Notice Jack's spelling for Tulips (flowers I asked him to buy)
I hadn't noticed ha!

Everything came out soo good and Jack did a great job on the grill. We had a full house with family and I loved it! I did not want this day to end. We drank, we ate, we laughed and drank and ate some more. It was the best First Mother's Day ever!
Elliot thought so too.

My brother-in-law and hubby gave me beautiful cards that made me tear up when I read them!

The best present ever? Jack cleaning up after we were all done and leaving the house so clean you couldn't tell there had been kids running around, food everywhere, dirty dishes, trash, empty beer bottles...he did sooo good! He let all the moms sit at the table and talk while he did everything. Husband of the year? I think so.

Honestly, more than Mother's Day being about me, it was about my mom. She's the toughest lady I know. She's such a hard-working mom and I admire her and look up to her. She has taught us that even if life gets tough and shit happens (and trust me, it's happened in this family) you just can't give up. You recover even if it takes time then you continue and don't look back. I know sappy but it's so true. I never realized how much you sacrifice as a mom and now that I am one, I appreciate my mom so much more and it makes me realize how much she has always sacrificed for us. Ever since she was younger she has never depended on anyone and has shaped her destiny like no other. She makes things happen and doesn't wait for anyone to make them happen for her. I love that about her. She's the mother I want to be for my kids and I hope I can be half of the example she has always been to me. 

So, Sunday morning Jack brought me breakfast in bed (did I mention how awesome he is already?) and we ate while Elliot talked away. The actual day for Mother's Day we relaxed all day and didn't do a thing. We didn't have to cook since we had plenty of leftovers, we rented movies and snacked all day. This weekend was the best I've had in a long time.

Elliot and I hope all the beautiful mamas had a great day!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sicky mama and baby.

This weekend was awesome!! We did a whole lot of nothing...well changed a light fixture, ordered a dresser for our bedroom, bought some decorations for the house and drank some beer!! (You might think we are alchies but I swear we are not!) Corona is not my fist choice when it comes to weekend drinking but they just looked so good at the store I had to buy them.

Hadn't noticed that Elliot looks a little creepy in the monitor!

We hung out with my grandparents who left Tuesday and celebrated my sister's and brother's birthdays with a flan cake that was so delicious I could have eaten the whole thing!

We also watched The Impossible. That movie had me tearing up with a huge knot in my throat the entire time!!! It's crazy to think that it's a true story. Really good movie.

So Sunday in the middle of the night I wake up to find that Button had puked all over his little self, his clothes and his play-pen. Poor baby I had to change everything, clean him up and put him back in bed. I thought he would be fine and blamed myself for it since I thought I had maybe over fed him since he hadn't woken up to eat and my (idiot) self woke him up. He probably could have slept through the night!! And this mama woke her little baby up and stuffed 7oz of milk in his little (probably full) belly. Then Monday, when my husband picked him up from daycare, he came home with a feverish baby. I got home and as soon as I touched his little forehead I knew he did in fact have a fever. So I just kept an eye on him, kept him cool and close to mama. In the middle of the night I woke up to check on him and there it was again...more vomit all over my Button! I couldn't go to work and leave him like that! (plus I don't know if daycare would've taken him anyway). I stayed home with my little monkey and I loved it!! I could be home with him all day everyday. Later on that day I fed him and a few minutes later came more of the projectile vomit (exorcist style) all over our comforter, his blankets, his clothes and my clothes so it was a fun day of washing, being sick and taking care of my sick baby. I have never liked to take medication for anything only if I reaaaaally need it and once I had Elliot I said I wouldn't give him anything either unless prescribed or if I see that he really needs it. If I don't like doing it, why would I do it to him? This time though I gave in and gave him one dose of Tylenol but that was enough for him.

He is such a good baby that he only cried a little bit and it was the sweetest, softest cry as if he were saying "mama, make this go away" my poor baby!!! There's nothing worse than seeing you baby sick and not being able to tell them not to worry because they will get better really soon. Other than that, he was smiling and talking the rest of the time.

Jack took the day off today to take him to the doc and he is doing fine! Apparently it was just a 24-hour bug going around. He is good and happy! I wish I could have stayed home with him.

Hello! I'm just chillin' over here.

So this weekend will be my first Mother's Day!!! We are throwing our first cookout at our house and I couldn't be more excited. I have some awesome ideas for mama gifts that I will post!

Have a great hump day!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Button's Birth.

This is the part that gets a little crazy. Well a lot crazy. His birth story will forever haunt me but amaze me and excite me at the same time every time I talk about it and probably will for the rest of my life. It will be a good story to tell Elliot and his kids (in the hundred years it will take to get there), but trust me, it's a story.

Let me backtrack a little bit to our house hunting days...

I mentioned that I was pregnant when we started looking for a house, we actually started right after we found out I was expecting because our goal was to be completely moved in to a new home before the baby came (ha, very funny). We looked and looked and the months kept going by as I kept getting bigger and bigger. We looked at a lot of houses and liked some but none were a place we could eventually call home. They just didn't work for us, some had beautiful backyards but were tiny on the inside, some were huge on the inside and just what we wanted but the backyards sucked. We wanted it to be just perfect although we knew there was no such thing, but we kept looking anyways. House hunting while pregnant is a freaking challenge. Crazy hot days, a big belly, hunger, walking up and down are sooo not a good combination. Mix them up and you get an unhappy, grumpy, very hungry me. We had originally put in an offer for a beautiful home but lost it to a higher bidder. We were bummed but knew it had happened for a reason. 

One day while looking on the internet (like I'd done a thousand times before only to be disappointed) I saw a house that caught my attention. We went to look at it with our realtor and I knew we had finally found our home the moment I walked in. It was in a beautiful neighborhood, the only problem was that it was a foreclosure and needed TONS of work. When I say tons I really mean tons. New floors, new paint, new fixtures, new faucets, new sink, new everything. BUT, it was a beautiful house, awesome layout, big front and backyard, just what we wanted. So we thought about all the work we would have to put into it and with me carrying a child, there wasn't much I would be able to help with. My husband was very hesitant at first (he listened to everyone who didn't like the house) and really thought about it. For me, it was a project in which I saw enormous amounts of potential, and really, I had the entire house already designed and finished in my head. I convinced him and we took the plunge.

We had started packing as soon as the paperwork began and although we didn't have much (or so we thought!) we were really surprised at how much junk we had accumulated over the course of just two years. You could almost call us hoarders! I mean I have to consider the fact that my baby shower took place during this time and I had a a lot of stuff that we had to take to our apartment. I had diaper boxes almost up to the ceiling plus all our stuff in boxes. Even though I was tired as shit, every day we packed was so exciting to be putting our belongings into boxes that would be soon in a home of our very own. No more rent, no more dealing with annoying neighbors, no more walking up stairs and get winded getting to the door.

Before (see the ugly carpet?) 

 During remodel

Almost there!

Final Product (living & dining room
it still needs work!).
The house being a foreclosure meant that we had to deal with the bank. Now THAT sucked big time. They put us through hell and back but we knew we needed this house so as hard as it was we went along with it. Our patience paid off and we got the house! The real work was just beginning.

The very first thing we did was paint (by "we" I mean Jack and family while I sat and sipped on hot chocolate while watching paint dry), we hated I mean hated the colors the previous owners had. Next were the floors and carpet. It started feeling like a home after these minor changes and Jack started seeing what I had been thinking and planning in my head all along. We hired some people to do some of the bigger stuff but mostly it was my amazing family and my husband that did it all.

Then after about a month it was move-in day! We had the moving truck, I went to the house early since the people we hired still had a few things to finish. I hired a lady to clean the house and recruited friends and family to help Jack load everything from the apartment to the house. Everyone was sooo helpful! They moved everything in only a couple of hours and now we had a garage full of boxes but were ecstatic about finally spending the night in our home...right? Wrong. The next day we still had to go back to the apartment to clean it and turn the keys in. Gosh that day couldn't come fast enough. We picked my sister up so she could help us (I still couldn't do much), got some burritos and headed out. I had been getting contractions that same morning but had read that sometimes women take a couple of days before the "real" contractions begin so I thought I would be ok, but started timing them anyway. They were 20-30 mins apart and I still paid little attention (I had no clue how this whole going-into-labor thing worked!). I was cleaning and going through a contraction, cleaning some more and going through another contraction until I told Jack and my sister that I had had enough and was ready to call it quits so I went to my car to wait for them. The contractions started getting closer together and I still didn't pay much attention to what my body was trying to tell me (duh!!) and kept going. Finally they were all done and we headed back home. Well as soon as I got home I thought "nope, this is really it" and now every time I went through a contraction, the pain was so intense that I started crying. It was time.

I wanted to take a shower before we went to the hospital since I always pictured myself doing my hair and makeup to look nice for the baby (and pictures) and at that point a shower, no makeup and wet hair was more than enough for me. Going through contractions in the shower was hard! Jack would hold my hand through every single one of them telling me everything would be ok, that I would be ok. After my shower, we headed for the hospital, at this point, my contractions were about five minutes apart and the pain was so intense I was crying at each and everyone of them. Jack was literally hauling ass on the freeway and running red lights (something he never does). He was scared for me because I've never been in so much pain. It was out of a movie. Once there, Jack went inside to get me a wheelchair and he was informed that they didn't have any (what???), I had to walk myself up the elevator and down to Labor & Delivery. When we got to the front desk (me being in between contractions) Jack told the nurse I was in labor and she, very patiently, told me I needed to fill out some paperwork. Was she kidding?? Then a contraction came and I leaned on the counter and started bawling while trying to answer her questions. I guess that woke her up and they immediately put me in a room, told me to get into a gown and a swarm of nurses came in, hooked me up to an IV, asked me a million questions, told me sign a million papers, all while I was crying in pain screaming for them to give me something for it, but was told they couldn't until the doctor came in. I had to be hooked up to oxygen since I was going out of control with each contraction (hello? they're painful as shit!!) and Elliot's heart rate would go down every time. I was shaking soo bad that my mom, my sister and of course Jack were so worried about me. I couldn't stop! I just remember being so cold but was later told that the shaking was from the pain! 

Finally my doctor came in (didn't even take him long but for me it was an eternity!) and after taking one look at me and the baby's heart rate, told me I would need to have an emergency c-section because we couldn't risk my baby not getting enough oxygen and his heart rate going down every time. I honestly didn't care, I wanted my baby to be out and healthy. They gave me a shot to extend the time between the contractions just to be able to get me out of there (thank you!!).

I was wheeled to the OR where they prepared me by giving me a spinal tap, prepping Jack with a gown and laying me down on the table with my belly exposed and arms to the sides. The spinal tap kicked in almost immediately and I was in heaven. After this everything was kind of a blur. Me feeling so good and relaxed, Jack talking in my ear (don't remember) the anesthetist asking me questions (don't remember) and the doc asking me if it hurt when he pinched me to which I said yes, they gave me more drugs and asked me again. I said yes again but at that point I must have been so out of it because the doc had already cut me open and I didn't feel a thing. No pressure, no tugging, nothing. My baby was out and not breathing. Thank God I couldn't see anything cause although I was out of it I know I would've freaked out. I know Jack did. Imagine seeing your baby being born and not breathing. Jack tells me Elliot was blue and limp and they had to intubate him right away. While he was in my belly and me having these crazy contractions, I stressed him out so much that he swallowed meconium (his very first poop). My poor baby! The nurses there were soooo great though and so fast. They were wheeling him out straight to the NICU and Jack says I turned to see him and said "aww" then off they went.

They took me to a general recovery room to let my anesthesia wear off and took me to my private room once I felt my legs again. That is the weirdest feeling. You know your legs are there but can't feel a thing. Anyway, once in the room and felt a little better, Jack got a wheelchair and took me to the NICU to see Elliot. It's crazy to think that to see my baby I had to scrub up and wear a gown to be able to go in. When I saw him it was love at first sight. I thought "wow, this tiny thing came from inside of me, how is that possible?!" I just loved him sooo much! It was an overwhelming feeling for Jack and I. Seeing him hooked up to machines and tubes everywhere was scary but the nurses there reassured us that he was completely fine. And he was.

He weighed 5lb 7oz and was tiny but so beautiful and perfect. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him he was ok, but I couldn't and that was so heartbreaking, but I knew he would be fine. I spent three days in the hospital and was dismissed and as much as I wanted to take my baby with me he couldn't go home yet. He stayed for a week and I felt so empty at home. No belly and no baby. We went to pick him up that Friday only to be told that they had to keep him an extra day for observation. We went back the next day and after about an hour we were able to bring him home!! I had an outfit planned for him and that went out the window that day. All I wanted was to hold my baby and have him with me.  I truly and honestly could not have done this without Jack by my side. He is the most amazing man and husband and was so sweet and calming the entire time even if he was just as scared as I was. He remained strong for the both of us and I love him so much for that!

I'm aaaall good now mama!
Having him home was scary but the most rewarding feeling in the world! He was all ours.

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